


I had a nightmare I lost you

by eagererudite



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, blood mention, mild season 3 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 18:27:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6531160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eagererudite/pseuds/eagererudite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Monty does his best to not break down, he doesn't want to bother anyone with his "drama". He thinks everyone else has it so much worse.  Yet somehow, Miller always finds him at his lowest. The only person to see Monty break is Miller. Miller is always there when Monty needs someone the most.</p><p>Monty has a panic attack and Miller is there for him</p>
            </blockquote>





	I had a nightmare I lost you

There's blood everywhere. Monty can feel it sticking to his skin. It's soaking into his clothes. Staining everything.

 

How could he let this happen? They promised to protect each other. They swore they'd keep each other safe. Now he's soaked in blood and there's no going back.

 

Monty's eyes fly open, heart racing, it was a dream. Just another bad dream, but this one was so much worse. His heart continues to race, he can't settle it. He can feel his mind start to slip, flying at a million miles a minute as the panic attack sets in.

 

He tries to stifle the hyperventilating by not breathing, but his diaphragm spasms in protest making him gasp even louder when he caves and breaths. He rolls on his side, pulls his knees to his chest, and wraps his arms around them digging his nails into himself in an attempt to stay grounded.

 

He stops listening to the outside world; he can’t hear anything but the pounding of his heart and the spastic breathing coming from his mouth. He doesn’t hear Miller come into his tent. He doesn’t feel him sit beside him. The moment he touches him, Monty recoiled and started sobbing harder.

 

"Monty, Monty, it's me. It's Nate. I'm right here. How can I help?"

 

Monty does his best to not break down, he doesn't want to bother anyone with his drama. He knows everyone else has it so much worse. Clarke lost Lexa. Bellamy lost Gina. Jasper lost Mya. Raven lost Finn. Yet somehow, Miller always finds him at his lowest. The only person to see Monty break is Miller. Miller is always there when Monty needs someone the most.

 

"Monty, can I help you?"

 

By now Miller knows the drill: talk Monty out of a loop, make physical contact, wait out the hyperventilation, and wait for Monty to speak. Miller knows he isn't going to get an answer from him, but it helps break the panic loop. He’s spent countless nights talking Monty out of panic attacks.

 

"I'm going to leave my hand out for you, take it when you're ready. You're going to be okay." His words are soft and slow, like if he speaks too loud or quickly they’ll be too harsh and hurt Monty.

 

Monty, still wracked with sobs, slowly releases the grip he has on himself and inches his hand into Miller's. His hand follows a familiar pattern, slowly making it into Miller’s and intertwining their fingers. Moments later the crying stops and all that's left is the panicked breathing. Eventually that settles too, and is replaced with ragged, deep breaths.

 

Monty always loosens his neck first, then stretches out, and sits up. Not this time. He stretches out then crumples again. He isn’t ready to sit up. He isn’t okay yet. The image of Miller’s bloody crumpled body is still burned into his eyelids.

 

"Monty, can I touch you?" This time his words are barely above a whisper.

 

Monty responds only with a nod. Slowly, Miller wraps his other arm around the smaller boy and pulls him into his lap cradling him. Monty immediately settles into the embrace, allowing Miller's heartbeat to further ground him. Listening to the steady thump in Miller’s chest helps, so does the rise and fall of his chest. The way he smells like sweat, woods, and dirt. The tiny circles Miller is tracing into his arm with his thumb. He allows his senses to be consumed by Miller, pulling him further from the ledge. They sat like that for a while, not moving or speaking. Monty trying to sort out what had just happened, Miller trying to keep him present.

 

Eventually, Monty breaks the silence, "I dreamt I lost you."  

 

"Monty, I-"

 

"There was blood everywhere. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't save you. You died in front of me and I couldn't save you." His voice falters as he finishes.

 

Miller doesn’t answer, he presses his lips to the top of Monty's head unsure of what else he can do.

 

"I can't lose you, Nate. I just can't." His voice barely making it out over the lump now in his throat.

 

"You won't, I'm not leaving. You'll never lose me and you'll never have to protect me. I'll be careful. I'll be fine. I promise." Placing another kiss onto Monty's head. He continues much quieter, “Monty, please don’t do this to yourself. Not for me.”

 

Monty doesn't respond, he just snuggles himself closer into Miller. The ragged breathing is replaced with long, slow, quiet breaths as he drifts back to sleep. Miller promised he wouldn’t leave and he doesn’t, he places Monty on his side and wraps himself around the smaller boy pulling the blanket over them. Monty stirs for a moment to find Miller wrapped around him, he smiles and exhales into the embrace.

 

They woke up like that in the morning, it was only the first night that Miller didn’t leave.

 

**Author's Note:**

> First fic for the Minty100 ship, comments appreciated !


End file.
